


what do you see when you close your eyes { death, pain, misery, and most of it of your creation. }

by SHINeeNAilee



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Gen, literally a small ass drabble i wrote, maybe this story will convert into a drabble series for alex who knows, pre-nsd or that just doesn't exist, scorpia rising spoilers, therapy? who knows, this kid is only fifteen jesus christ mi6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 14:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16662789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHINeeNAilee/pseuds/SHINeeNAilee
Summary: A drabble about Alex's nightmares.





	what do you see when you close your eyes { death, pain, misery, and most of it of your creation. }

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for fire, drowning, death, aka Alex's fucking life. 
> 
> Wrote this drabble, posted it on tumblr, now posting it here. Doesn't deserve to be on here, but it is what it is, I guess, lol.

 

"Can you tell me, Alex? Have you had any nightmares?" 

Nightmares, sure. Sometimes, it's just events that have happened on his missions -- memories that replay in his head -- sometimes it's Jack, sometimes it's shooting Julius, sometimes it's all of the deaths he's seen and all of the people he's killed played in a loopback over and over again.

But... sometimes it's drowning, it's Joe Byrne didn't come in on time or didn't come at all, and he's just drowning on land, screaming, begging, hoping that the CIA agents would believe him. Sometimes, it's fire, a building he can't escape from this time, his parents' plane, and the smoke chokes his lungs as the ashes curl around his head. Sometimes, it's Jack, accusing him, asking him _why her, why did he have to come into her life_ , as she bleeds to death in his arms. Sometimes, it's Yassen, cold and neutral with a bullet wound in his heart, and he doesn't say a word as he slowly chokes Alex **_(_** but it's a dream, and so he never dies ** _)_**. Sometimes, it's Ian, and Alex has had enough, and Alex just screams and rages about how he made him this way, and Ian just topples over dead after all is said and finished ** _(_ **or, maybe, he's always been dead ** _)_**. 

Once, it was John and Helen Rider, seeing Alex, seeing who he became, and turning away from his, disgusted by the actions he took. 

 ** _(_ **he doesn't get kind dreams. at best, he gets dreams that he never remembers, and he supposes that's all the peace he deserves. **_)_**

"Yes," he says, and doesn't elaborate. 


End file.
